Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D - Searchlight)

"Mr. President, the junior senator from Wyoming has come to the floor several times recently talking about the fact that examples that he and others Republicans have given dealing with ObamaCare, examples that are bad, I've called lies.  Mr. President, that is simply untrue."

- Reid's use of the English language is pretty pathetic for someone who makes a living speaking, but what he's trying to communicate here is 'he is being unfairly quoted saying all the bad things being said about ObamaCare are "lies."'

I know it's lazy on my part to use Harry Reid as a target of Libby Jackassery, but he makes things so much easier for me.

"We heard about the evils of ObamaCare, about the lives it's ruining in Republicans' stump speeches and in ads paid for by oil magnates, the Koch brothers.  But in those tales, turned out to be just that:  tales, stories made up from whole cloth, lies distorted by the Republicans to grab headlines or make political advertisements...There's plenty of horror stories being told.  All of them are untrue, but they're being told all over America." - Harry (Feb. 26, 2014 - on the Senate floor)

Oh Harry, you stupid tool!  So, which is the lie?  Your lie about Republicans lying about the horrors of ObamaCare or your lie about Republicans lying about you lying?

On a different note, I suppose it's a lie about ol' Harry giving $17k in campaign contributions to his granddaughter as well...Another 'lie', of course.  But if it is, why did he feel the need to 'reimburse' his campaign coffers?  Hmmm?

Bruce Braley (Senate Wanna-Be)

"Put this in stark contrast, if you help me win this race, you may have someone with your background, your experience, your voice, some(one) who has literally been fighting TORT reform for thirty years in a visible and public way on the Senate Judiciary Committee or you might have a farmer from Iowa who never went to law school, never practiced law, serving as the next Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Because if Democrats lose the majority, Chuck Grassley will be the next chair of the Judiciary Committee."

- Braley was speaking to a group of lawyers, campaigning for a spot in the U.S. Senate.

He must be running for office from a hoity-toity state, right?  California, New York, Massachusetts, etc.; right?

This moron is running for the Senate seat from Iowa!  Iowa - as in Farmtown, U.S.A - Iowa!

Hahahaha.  I'm sure his 'you don't want to put some farm turd from my home state in charge' shtick will play really well with the salt-of-the-earth Iowan voters.

Here's praying whichever Republican who ends up running against him has the common sense to make ample use of this gem.

Grant Middle School (Springfield, Illinois)

“This amendment (2nd Amendment) states that people have the right to certain weapons, providing that they register them and they have not been in prison. The founding fathers included this amendment to prevent the United States from acting like the British who had tried to take weapons away from the colonists.”

- Part of a worksheet the school produced to summarized the Bill of Rights - the first ten Amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

Call me crazy, but I think I've missed something.  I have always thought of myself as more or less educated when it comes to U.S. civics issues, specifically the U.S. Constitution...But I must have missed something in my understanding of the 2nd Amendment.

So, lets take a look at the amendment; its entire text.

“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” - 2nd Amendment

Uhhhhhh.  That doesn't look anything like what Grant Middle School put out to its young students...How can that be?

It can be because like many public schools, Grant Middle School is more interested in revisionist history, through Liberal propaganda, than teaching honest history...A complete disgrace, but something I'm sure the school isn't the slightest bit embarrassed about, and the only thing they may be upset about it getting caught.

Something to keep in mind when you send your children off to school:  K-College, the least honest and free-thinking institutions in the United States - exactly the opposite of what they should be.

Michelle Obama (Nag)

"We nag you because we love you. Go to healthcare.gov and enroll today."

Please, Michelle.  Please pander to our stupidity just a little more.

Here's the deal:  If ObamaCare was such a great deal, Americans would be flocking to it.  If ObamaCare truly saved Americans money, they'd be signing up in droves.  If ObamaCare gave Americans a better bang for their health care dollar, they'd be crashing the servers of healthcare.gov (not including when they crash due to poor construction).

But the American people are doing no such thing.  Not because of some vast Right-wing conspiracy.  Not because the American people are so ignorant they don't know any better.  And surely not because Michelle and Barack haven't shown us enough "love."

No, the American people are staying away from ObamaCare because it isn't as good as what they have - or had before it was taken from them as a result of the law.

"Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want." - Anna Lappe

In other words, most Americans aren't signing up for ObamaCare because they simply don't want ObamaCare...No amount of pandering, or belittling (which will be their next tact) will change that reality.

Bill Maher (Typical Liberal)

"But the thing that’s really disturbing about Noah isn’t the silly, it’s that it’s immoral. It’s about a psychotic mass murderer who gets away with it, and his name is God...What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he’s mad at?...Hey God, you know you’re kind of a [expletive] when you’re in a movie with Russell Crowe and you’re the one with anger issues.  Conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it’s because you worship a guy who drowns babies."

This guy is such a D-bag.  Personally, I don't believe in any particular god(s), so I don't care what Maher says about religious matters.  But I know a lot of people do; people who vote for the morons Bill Maher supports and helps put in office - morons with (D)-behind-their-name, for those who may not know any better.

Something to keep in mind, by the way.

That said, just once I wish Maher, and all those like him who think it's fun to needlessly ridicule people of faith, would go out on a limb and say something similar about Allah...Not that I have anything against Allah.

Religion hating big-mouths would never make such a statement against Islam for one simple reason:  They are cowards!

They know they can say pretty much anything they want about the Jewish and Christian god and won't have to pay any price, but they are smart enough to know doing so against the god of Islam might cost them their head - literally!

Wait a minute.  All three religions celebrate the same god...Maybe we'll get lucky and some super serious Muslim will do that math, and maybe ol' Bill Maher will get what he deserves - and no, that isn't hyperbole.

And no, I'm not hoping for bad things to happen to Billy.  Wink, wink.

Barack Obama (YOUR Personal Accountant)

"I'm sure if you looked at that person's budget - and you looked at their cable bill, telephone, their cell phone bill, other things that they are spending on - it may turn out they just haven't prioritized health care."

- Answer to a recent question from a person who  makes $36,000 a year and cannot find insurance for a family of three for less than $315 per month.

This from a president who has yet to send a legitimate budget to Congress in any of his years in office...Not that any president (competent or not) has any business looking down on the American people for their purchasing 'priorities.'

What a jerk.

"If the President actually believes that a family earning less than $40,000 per year can afford nearly $4,000 in health insurance premiums, then he truly does not understand middle-income families. Americans do not need the President to tell them how to budget their households. People are already cutting back on things like cable television and cell phones, just to compensate for an awful economy." - Daniel Garza

Forget "middle-income families," Obama has no clue about average American people - poor or middle class, because he has always lived the life of a pampered child.  He's black, but he is not some poor kid from the 'hood.'  He has lived the life of an aristocrat; a life of being catered to at every turn; a life 90% of the American people only dream of...Which is why he is ignorant enough to make such ridiculous statements about the poor and middle class - Because he genuinely has idea what it is like to be one of them.

Film Works (Hypocritical SOB's)

"We are greatly concerned that the state's status as the epicenter for motion picture production is at risk...If policymakers fail to make our state more competitive, the film industry in California will face the same fate as other industries, including aerospace, which resulted in thousands of jobs permanently leaving California for other states."

- Part of an online petition, by this 'entertainment-industry advocate organization,' trying to get California to lower taxes on the movie and entertainment industry.

This is really rich.

The entertainment industry is populated almost entirely by Liberal, Democrat-supporting turds, yet they think they should be exempt from the pain of Liberal, Democrat policies.

SCREW THEM!  Let these hypocritical SOB's reap what they have sown.  Most of their product is garbage anyway...If you don't want to pay high taxes take your production to Texas, Alaska, Arizona, or some other place you haven't ruined with your Liberal, Democrat-supporting turdliness!

Wait a minute; I take it back...Keep yourselves in California.  No need to ruin the rest of the country.

Stars and Stripes Magazine

"Since the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, U.S. military bases have hosted gay marriage ceremonies and potluck gatherings.  But on Saturday (two weeks ago), servicemembers here (Kadena Air Base, Okinawa) may have been the first to take to the stage and perform as drag queens on a military installation in support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender troops."

And we wonder why Vladdie has no fear of American power...Nor the Chinese, Iranians, North Koreans - or anyone else who wants to take the U.S. down a few notches; including some of our supposed allies.

There are some nations which are terrified of American power:  Those who have been protected under our military umbrella since the end of WWII.

They are terrified of our weakness, and know they better start arming to the teeth - including getting their own nukes, because the American military is not only shrinking, it is becoming a laughingstock.

Beyonce (Skag)

"Driver roll up the partition please
I don't need you seeing Yonce on her knees
Oh he so horny, yeah he want to f--k
He popped all my buttons, and he ripped my blouse
He Monica Lewinsky-ed all on my gown..."

- Lyrics to a new song 'Partition.'

I'm no prude, and I'm sure it's quite the catchy tune.

That said, classy gal there.  Not that she's exceptional when it comes to Hollywood or music skankiness...If anything she's par for the course.  And an amazing role model:

"Beyonce could not be a better role model for my girls." -  Barack Obama

Like I said par for the course, but for some reason I can't imagine Obama saying the same about Miley - even though she's little less than a white version of the trashy ho.

Barack 'The Bartender' Obama

"Well, it's Friday.  It's after 5 o'clock.  So, this is now officially happy hour with the Democrat Party...I can do that.  It's an executive action.  I have the authority."

- Comment at a Democrat fundraiser.

Alright,  Happy Hour.  I'm all for it...But I'm not the President of the United States; the Commander-in-Chief who less than 30-minutes earlier gave the Ruskies a stern warning against messing around in Ukraine - specifically Crimea.

Sadly, the way things are looking, Vlad Putin must have taken Obama for as much seriousness as Obama's threats/boasts/'Red Lines' deserve to be taken:  Hardly serious at all.