Logan Scherer (PETA Putz)

"[Punxsutawney] Phil is forced to be on display year round at the local library and is denied the ability to prepare for and enter yearly hibernation...Add to that the displeasure of large, screaming crowds, flashing lights of cameras, and human handling. If Punxsutawney frees Phil, then the bitter winter that's made him into an unwilling media attraction will end, making way for a sunny spring that everyone can enjoy.

- PETA wants the real groundhog replaced with a robotic groundhog.

**This damn vermin is fawned over year round, and the last thing he needs is to hibernate. If anything, this is the luckiest groundhog in the world; it would be worse in a zoo and much worse in the wild where he'd likely perish at the business end of a predator.

Per normal, I'm going to celebrate this PETA quote with a juicy steak for dinner...Thanx PETA!**