"The Boys Are Not All Right"

Last week I came across an interesting article called 'The Boys Are Not All Right' by a New York Times writer named Michael Ian Black

Black wrote this article in relation to the recent school massacre in Florida, but it has much bigger implications than guns and violence...It hit on what I believe is THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN AMERICA - the source of most of our problems as a nation.

The title of the article should give you a clue:  'The Boys Are Not All Right'

Unfortunately, the author made a slight error in his choice of words, because the title should have been 'The Boys Are Not Alright.'

The difference of letters and words is minor, but the difference of meaning is tremendous.

"America's boys are broken.  And it's killing us...Men feel isolated, confused and conflicted about their natures.  Many feel that the very qualities that used to define them - their strength, aggression and competitiveness - are no longer wanted or needed; many others never felt strong or aggressive or competitive to begin with.  We don't know how to be, and we're terrified." - Michael Ian Black

I hope you will read the entire article.  I also hope you will notice that although Black has hit on a massively important problem (boys not being alright), and is asking the right question (how do we fix boys?), I believe he is causing even more confusion about boys...Below I will list the things I believe have screwed up boys - with some ideas about how to fix them, which are really nothing but 'un-screwing up male nature.'

-  There's an old saying that "boys will be boys."  This doesn't mean boys should be allowed or encouraged to be barbarians, but the sooner we realize that boys are best off when they are accepted for being boys the better we will be.

- Boys need dads - in their lives, and in their homes...Those who've followed my posts for any amount of time know I believe the breakdown of the family - largely as a result of the destruction of fatherhood - is the root cause of most of our problems.  Of course girls need dads, too, but boys must have dads to learn how to be good men - and how to become good dads.

- We've all heard of 'toxic masculinity.'  Anything can be toxic - including femininity.  And as I stated above, no one should want barbaric boys.  But there is nothing inherent in being a boy that is toxic...What is toxic are those who push that masculinity is toxic.  These people are the ones poisoning our society; not those who just happen to be born with XY-chromosomes.

-  Boys need to play and compete.  This is one of their primary ways of learning how to survive and succeed in the world.  It is also one of the main ways they release pent up energy...The worst thing that can happen to a boy is to be 'caged up.'  This is why boys are struggling in the classroom compared to girls.  Kids can't arrive early on campus and play, Physical Education classes have been minimized and made less physical, lunch and recess breaks barely allow time to eat and go to the bathroom let alone time to play, and kids aren't allowed to stay and play after school.  Every parent knows the worst thing they can do to their son is to put them in 'Time Out.'  Instead they send their boys out to play; to release some energy.  Putting them in a desk for eight hours a day is a prescription for ensuring misbehavior and making boys into monsters.

-  Speaking of prescriptions -  Take away the medications!  Those who haven't been to a school lately would be shocked at how many kids are hanging out at the Nurses Office.  They aren't there because they are injured or sick. They are there because they are receiving their meds.  It shouldn't be a surprise that most of these kids are boys...Boys who are being medicated out of displaying what used to be considered normal boy behavior.

-  From the day they can understand anything, boys are taught that they are inferior to girls.  And it's done as a means of propping up girls...Neither boys nor girls should be minimized.  Both are important.  Both are absolutely necessary.  Unfortunately, in our current time boys constantly hear they are less important, less deserving, less necessary than their female counterparts.  How can they possibly grow up mentally and emotionally 'normal' if they constantly hear they are abnormal because they are boys?

These are just six reasons why 'The Boys Are Not Alright."  There are many others.

Sadly, I don't see this problem being fixed any time soon.  If for no other reason, many know it will require a massive shift in our nation's culture - especially in the family...The bigger reason is much simpler, however:  Many believe boys are overdue for a little payback for perceived historical wrongs against girls.

The result of this continued destruction of boy's nature will perpetuate the horrible societal problem we have created:  "The Boys Are Not Alright", so "The Men Are Not Alright", so "The Dads Are Not Alright", so, "Boys Are Not Alright"...And on, and on, and on.  A self perpetuating cycle of the internal destruction of our nation.

Some are happy with this destructive cycle; it makes them feel more empowered, and gives them a sense of righting historical wrongs...Congratulations to them.

The ultimate reality is boys will continue being screwed up, and girls will continue paying a bigger and bigger price for it...Because no matter what anyone says girls need boys as much as boys need girls - anyone who denies this reality is truly sick.

And if we don't fix boys, there will eventually be articles titled "The Girls Are Not Aright" - followed by "NONE OF US ARE ALRIGHT."

And when this happens there will be many articles with the subject of "The Rise and Fall of The United States."

Incredibly, there will be plenty of people happy about this, as well.