Jeff - RIP (Dec. 29-30)

The day of Jeff's death always brings out a lot of emotions for me - and many others I am sure...I still can't get over how young he was when he died, nor the way he perished.  But it is what it is.

I recently came across the picture above - a celebration we had with the family for Jeff's 30th birthday.  It was a great event, and one we need to repeat more often...We all had a great time, eating and doing shots in Jeff's honor, recalling the fun times we had with our son, brother, grandson, uncle, cousin, nephew and friend.  And we all cried it out when we realized it was time to go home - I don't think any of us had thought ahead to the reality of how painful it was going to be to end the event - realizing Jeff wasn't leaving with us.  That is what it is as well.

When looking at this picture, I remembered another thing, and that is us four are the last of our male line of Caruthers...Jeff was our last hope for another boy.  Unfortunately, he never had any children.  I'm betting he would have been a good father.  I know he wanted to be a dad, and to be a good one.  But it is what it is, and it wasn't meant to be.

Grandpa, my dad and I are far to old to be responsibly having any more kids - though I do root for grandpa finding a filly to take one last shot at it.  LOL!...And I'm also not going to count it if any of our daughters or granddaughters lose their mind and go trans - becoming a 'boy' carrying our name.  I hope us Caruthers die out without ever getting this nuts, but our country has lost its mind and maybe one of ours will opt to join the open-air-insane-asylum which is all around us.  I pray this is never what it is.

So, the picture you see above is truly the last of our branch of the Caruthers...It's too bad, but it is what it is.

I love and miss you, Brother...I think of you often - I hope somehow you know that this is what it is as well.