Pinch Sulzberger Jr. (N.Y. Times Chairman, Silverus spoonus)

"You weren't supposed to be graduating into an America fighting a misbegotten war in a foreign land. You weren't supposed to be graduating into a world where we are still fighting for fundamental human rights, whether it's the rights of immigrants to start a new life; or the rights of gays to marry; or the rights of women to choose. You weren't supposed to be graduating into a world where oil still drove policy and environmentalists have to fight relentlessly for every gain."

- Comment during his speech at the State University of New York graduation ceremony.

**In Pinchie's world, students graduating in 2006 were supposed to graduate into an America which cowered to international terrorists, humans were allowed to marry goats, women could execute their children at any point in their pregnancy (even on delivery day), and the economy ground to a halt because we didn't want to use that dreadful resource known as oil.

What an ugly world Liberalville utopia would be if it were up to jerkoffs like the Pampered Pinch Poodle.......It's ugly enough as it is with them having a modicum of control, imagine if they ruled the roost?**